Erica Renee of Madame Noire has recently wrote about men of my generation losing or lacking the ability to properly court a women. Understanding the African-American gender war and why black women are literally swooning openly and publicly for men of other races (Some claiming to feel like princesses when out with any non-black man) I know where this article is coming from. It’s a cry for help that black men should heed and I thank the sister for calling attention to issue that is keeping a lot of good men from achieving the relationship both genders want. You see this is a communication issue.
I believe a lot of men who believe in courting get ran through the mud by a lot of shifty sistas before they meet a woman that’s genuinely worth the effort. Believe it or not there are crazy girls out there that will actually ridicule a man for this sort of behavior and call him too soft and even question his manhood. I know of a man who ask a beauty young girl out to the movies and even brought her flowers punchline is the girl saw the movie, was standoffish, once return home posted the flowers on Instagram as a “(N-word) be thirsty” meme. As a result of encountering these women a lot of brothers come with their own baggage and think that the only way to keep a girl is to border on being douche without being one.
This is so contrary to what a good girl is looking for that it actually raises their defenses instead of lowering them and they become less receptive to their advances. A man sees this and confuse it with a lack of interest (which as a nice guy is a reoccurring theme of life) and instead of reevaluating his approach or courting of said lady he just becomes more bitter and more like a genuine douche with a warp perception that black woman are girls who only like aggressive alpha males playboys who make moves quickly.
Ladies if your about to break it off with a dude because he is slipping on his courting of you or is “trying to hard” to project manliness/alpha male traits and that’s not what your into Please give him at least two fair (Doesn’t have to be blunt) warnings that he isn’t winning you over with his behavior and although you think he is a great person who has all the potential to be the perfect boyfriend these actions are pulling you in his direction.
Any real man who is seriously interested will hear what you are saying and either be determined to prove that he is more than potential boyfriend material or he will detach, self-loath for a little while before eventually reemerging on the dating scene albeit with a even bigger chip on his shoulder that will make him more unattractive to black women. The men that just wanted a quick lay will get frustrated and seek out easier girls by now.
At that point it’s not your problem, you gave that sucker some valuable advice or as men call it, “Game” and he can either go to practice and improve or just sulk and become a worst “player”. Don’t worry about it. That loser may realize how you tried to lace him with some insight down the line and come running back to you, he may even friend-zone himself and just use you for your insight.
Bottom line ladies you have to give men warnings because no man is a mind-reader, he doesn’t know your being coy and old-fashion, frankly old fashion just that old and out of fashion. That doesn’t mean many black men aren’t willing to court a woman it just mean he might have to literally be told or hinted at.