I increasingly find myself shocked and appalled by the black feminist community. I like many other African American men have been silenced, marginalized, and ridiculed for simply being male and having an opinion on the people group they happen to be born into. There just isn’t enough room at the round table for a male opinion and it’s a deeply troubling thing especially since the group that claims to care about racism and gender equality doesn’t really care about either and have become exactly what they formed to combat, a bigoted group that disregard the views of people that are not like themselves.
You see in the beginning of black feminism there was in fact a valid gender bias that needed to be addressed. The black community was in fact a Patriarchy just like the rest of society and with that came a lot of unfair gender based expectations that sisters had to shoulder in order to be seen as good women meanwhile the sin of the man was and is weighed against his success and accomplishments. In the past Black men had a lot of power and during the civil rights moments a lot of brothers did marginalize the politic agenda of the women that supported them. For example the black men of the time were comfortable getting their rights before their women could. They most likely saw any power given to him by the dominant society to be a thing to share between the sexes but power is a corrupting force. You combine poverty with the feeling of being powerless within the dominate society and it’s a recipe for creating the sort of bitter man that strikes and abuses those weaker than him namely the women.
Black Feminism has merit on that alone! They rightfully called out and aired the Black Community dirty laundry in regards to what some women have to put up with. I believe in Black feminism, they need to exist to be the vanguard of black male and female relations. I believe black men would love to hear from educated black women what we can do to be better for them. However the collective black feminist movement has moved completely out of the realm of building a stronger black community and into the arena of outright competition with the black man. They don’t want to be our partner, they don’t want to be our equal, and they barely want to be associated with us instead they wish to cozy up to the white male patriarchal establishment that mainstream feminist loath so much. That’s why their two biggest enemies are white women (their competition) and black men (their perceived burden) which is ironic because they wish to be taken seriously by both groups while vilifying members within them.
The black feminist community recently lashed out at both groups via twitter using the hashtags #solidarityisforwhitewomen and #blackpowerisforblackmen and the conversations coming forward are a much needed breath of fresh air on the most part but saddening in others. For example I can only applaud them for calling out all the ways mainstream feminism has sidelined women of color. They did a great job on that front. They said what was needed to be said and it was done mostly with respect however when it came time to address black men it became a snarky “Black man don’t care about us” diss feast filled with the same argument black feminist always had regarding black men. Unlike Solidarity is for white women which pointed out a lot of semi recent examples of exclusion. The most they manage to say really is that black men don’t defend black women and that we somehow hold them to a European standard of beauty while they don’t hold us to a white man standard of wealth. I really don’t know where they get the idea that we hold them to a European style of beauty. I personally preach the beauty of black women from the mountain tops. When I draw I make most of my characters black women because I think they look better and make better character than men. What I don’t like is a black woman that tries to be something she is not which is European/Hispanic/Asian. The black men that I know want our sisters to look as natural as possible and find that it’s the women that cling tooth and nail to their hair for the sake of NONBLACK APPROVAL. That’s why there are articles online and youtube videos from black women claiming that they got the “okay” to go natural once they got with a nonblack man. That validated them enough and “empowered” them enough to finally accept their natural hair and that is one of my most common sources of discomfort when dealing with some black women. Some of them have a very real need for non black approval that we as black men are outright powerless to do anything about. In some cultures it’s called having a Colonial Mentality, black people use the terms Uncle Tom and Negro bed wench to describe those who seek to please everyone but the group they belong to. However today’s Black Feminist would like to deny the very existence of the female Uncle Tom and wish to destroy any man that dare mention it in public.
Also this notion that black man are not competing with guys of other races for the affections of black women is B.S. The modern black guy knows that there are some black women that view him as inferior to his non black peers and would not give him the time of day unless he had twice as much as his non white peer and was willing to be partner-in-house instead of the men of the house. That is a reality that we accept. We live in a Matriarchy that few black women want to give up and maybe they don’t have too. The notion of being equal partners is very romantic to me but some black woman will only want that equal partnership or outright matriarchy with a black man but will become the most docile subservient creature around a white or nonblack man and that’s not right and not progressive for black relationships or for how the country views black women.
Black men have mostly been silent on the issue of Negro Bed Wenches because men in general don’t lament over women that reject them. A black woman listing all the black men she knows that date nonblack women is normal, she is simply venting her frustration, a man doing the same is very bitter and clearly alone. I have been told by numerous black girls that they only date non black men and they make no secret that they do so because they feel black men are scum but when you try to say to them that they are creating a monolith out of black men based upon their own bad experiences and the negative stories of their friends then they call you a Misogynist and label you irrelevant. Never mind that these same women obsess over and are drawn to negative stories and examples of black men going so far as to create forums to share in their collective pity party and praising of nonblack men for not having all the baggage that comes with being black in America like they themselves aren’t walking blogging examples of baggage in black America.
It really is a sad state for black feminism. I imagine a day when black feminist will organize and hit the streets to council young black girls on how to be ladies and resist no good men but today’s black feminist believe all black men are bad or enough of us are no good where collectively we are a lost cause. They don’t want to reform Black America they want to replace Black America with Mulatto America and in Mulatto America a pure black women really has no value and a pure black man will be even worse off. They are planning for that future and are calling on a mass exodus from the black man which is really akin to racial genocide. They are prepared to live the reminders of their lives as the double minority they see themselves as just as long as their children are spare from the same fate. That is today’s Black Feminism and that is what is wrong with their pathology and If they’re not about improving black relationships and healing the genders then is it right for them to even identity with the black community. Should the collective black community, males included, even care about their argument when they are so quick to write off anyone who has an argument different from theirs?
That is why a lot of black women gravitate toward womanism and use the vague label that I’m quite fond of Conscious Sisterhood. They set themselves apart from black feminism by having a much more holistic view of the problems facing black people while still opting to focus on issues that affect black women. They tend to be the women that can not only admit the existence of the female Uncle Tom but they will be the ones to rebuild a brother and tell him that any girl that sees the race of a man before the character is a loser. I believe it is these women that will have to come forward to combat the black feminist movement and they should because it’s a sad day when we have black people dishonoring the mantra of our ancestors just to get a grievance out.